Honey Defies Physics

Honey defies physics. But it’s not just honey; it’s syrup and sorghum too. For that matter it is anything sticky and edible that a body might wish to keep contained in its container. Just last night I got so aggravated at the honey jar I would have thrown it against the wall….but it was sticking to my fingers.

 It was all sticky on the outside, and it had left its sticky circular foot print on the shelf, and it stuck all over my fingers, and I can’t stand sticky fingers. I ran the hot water and rinsed the outside of the jar off and swabbed off the shelf with a wet rag. Then I got out the “honey spoon” we got somewhere in Arkansas. It’s made out of cherry wood and has a flat end with a honey comb pattern cut in it. It is definitely a cool “spoon.” I dipped it in the honey, twirled the spoon about to keep the sticky goodness in its place and popped it in my mouth. Good stuff. I then rinsed the spoon clean, set the honey jar on the window seal above the sink and went on about my business.

I returned just a little while later for another small smackeral only to find the jar STICKY again and the tell-tale sticky foot print back, but this time on the previously clean window seal. Honey obviously is no respecter of glass. It respects the stupid plastic bear even less. How does it pass through solid materials to the other side and set up shop?

Sorghum does the same thing. There is no pancake syrup that a chubby glass or plastic woman can keep hemmed up for long. Karo has never seen a bottle it could not thwart with its sticky goodness. And chocolate syrup refuses to recognize its place.

Right now in our pantry four containers of sticky edibles have gripped their shelf with sugary toes and have to be wrenched loose in order to be pressed into service. I would clean the shelf, but why bother….. the laws of physics won’t apply this time either.